Eulogy for Traditional Septic

We gather here to bid farewell to the traditional septic system we originally installed 5 years ago. We have learned much in our time together. What conveniences you once supplied will now be the work of mosses and plants, bacteria and organisms. Your remains lie in rest where you have always sat so that someday your rich compost will feed a young fruit tree or other beneficial plants. We bury with you our worries over when you might fill and need to be drained, which thankfully never came to pass in your short life with us. We thank you for accompanying us in our transition of consciousness, connecting our own waste cycles with that of the earth, returning our nutrients to the soil slowly each day instead of in a massive mix of toxic sludge that requires enormous, industrial processing. We further bid farewell to your favorite accessory, the flush toilet, which has already found a new future as a set of ceramic planters in our gardens. Thank you for your services, traditional septic system, may you rest in everlasting and deeply composting peace.